I wrote this paper for a class.
This is my overall reflection of my trip to Vancouver.
Leading up to the Vancouver trip I was so excited. I was excited to love on God’s children and serve in a place that seemed so desperate to hear the Word of God. Going into the week I had no idea how much this experience would change me and shape me to be who I am becoming in the Lord. With a heart full of anticipation I stepped off the Greyhound bus and walked the several blocks it took to get to East Hastings Street. When I approached the Carnegie Center so early in the morning I noticed the people around me; I noticed them and I felt fear well up inside of me. This fear came from not seeing properly; seeing with the eyes I grew up with and that many people possess in our in North American culture. Now that the week has come and gone I have realized that I have not only had the scales fall from my eyes but also I have had a heart transplant and a renewed mind that is more like my Savior’s.
It is hard for me to differentiate what I have learned from what I have observed because I believe that I have been changed through and through by every experience, every gaze from hurting, searching people. In terms of education, all the ministries that I encountered over the week taught me a lot about how to reach people, about what to do and what not to do. I have learned so much about the workings of urban ministry and how hard it can be. One thing that God has opened my eyes to over the trip is how he favors the poor and the hurting. We read it in our Bibles all the time, but do we really know what it looks like for the weak to lead the strong? God clearly favors the poor. Everything that Jesus did was in relation to the poor and the weak. When Jesus communed with the wealthy He had a completely different air about him, an air of frustration because of their unwillingness to see past worldly things. God has truly opened my eyes to what it means to love the broken and to see them as His children, no less. Most of what I have learned over this week, I learned from people. I know now that I did not truly view all people as equals before my eyes were opened this week. I met so many people who were on the street because of a few bad decisions. My friend Howard was so smart, a world traveler. He began doing drugs when his life-long best friend died and he lost everything. Many people stereotype the homeless and broken as ignorant and self-destructive but this is rarely the case; people are so smart, they are beautiful. I learned what it means to know that we are all made in God’s image—an image of beauty, brains, creativeness, and love. Perhaps my experience was different because my brother is an addict, he could easily be living on East Hastings. I think I saw elements of him in so many of the people I met, elements of the person I love most in this world. In so many ways God taught me through my brokenness, He truly used the weak and the broken to lead me and transform my worldview.
Observations… my eyes have never been exposed to so many things; drug deals, prostitutes, people shooting up, snorting, smoking. I observed street culture in all its glory and all its shame. I saw people trying to help. I saw people denying help. I observed a community. There is such a community on East Hastings, I was never fearful after that first day. The people there took us in, protected us and talked to us. I observed attempts to help, to break this unhealthy community and lifestyle. I saw gardens and green in amongst the drab grey pavement, perhaps representing hope growing where you least expect it. I observed pure desperation in people and in some, hope, light, and joy. I observed God at work, a work He started long before I was there and that He will continue long after I am gone. I met people in ruts that never desired to get off of drugs or get into housing but I also met people full of hope. I met Kelly, a blind mentally delayed woman who wanders around the DTES looking for her boyfriend, “Ken.” Although she buys alcohol for her boyfriend she, herself, has never and will never do drugs. She is full of hope for the future and despite her blindness she knows people by name, she hugs them and encourages them, like a young girl making light of her situation.
I observed a lack of children and with that, a lack of censorship and modesty. During my time as a homeless person just wandering off the Greyhound and sleeping at the First United shelter I noticed that people rarely look you in the eyes. When “normal” people fear you or think you are homeless they don’t look you in the eyes, they don’t reciprocate an element of dignity with you like they would with so many others. I realized that I am guilty of this too. So many times I have not made eye contact with a person on the streets for fear they would ask me for money or harass me. I am overwhelmed with realization of this; I have experienced great guilt and shame. How can I call myself a follower of Christ if I do not even offer respect to people made in His image breathing His breath that He breathed into us? I find my heart breaking for North American Christians who have it backwards a lot of the time. We can easily talk the talk of the Gospel, but do we walk the walk? Do we truly love others as equals? All sin leads to death and the Lord knows that we have all sinned. This burden for the Church to be what the Church has been called to be is so heavy on my heart and my soul. I ache to share the true Gospel of Christ, the Gospel that gives dignity and hope to every human being. There is no such thing as women and men or American and African or poor and rich. There is only Christ. In Him we are united. We are equal. Some may say that this is a radical thought, that we will never gain equality in the eyes of society, but here is where God comes in. He makes the impossible possible; His son has covered us in His own blood. The world will not understand because to truly love does not make sense to the world. The Church can love like no one else can love because we are connected to the Creator of love.
So how do we put this radical idea into action? How do I change my life according to what I have experienced? I honestly probably won’t make much time to fully commit to volunteering once a week at the Mustard Seed or Hope Mission but this change doesn’t necessarily have to be tied to volunteering at homeless shelters. I can start by looking people in the eyes and by truly seeing them. I am thankful to live in the area that I live in because right outside my door there are people homeless and wandering. I know that I will no longer be scared of them because they are people searching, just like me. I want to be intentional with those around me by learning names and letting joy overflow out of me onto those I interact with. I pray to be more like the Son, truly loving and holding nothing back. I want to be an inspiration in my Church here as well as when I go home. I want to help ignite a fire in the heart of the Church for God’s people, for our brothers and sisters. I pray that I would not loose this passion that has been placed ever so carefully in my heart over this past week. I want to always be intentional—I want to help people know their worth and know that God made them so carefully and intricately. I pray that I walk with confidence founded in Christ and a willingness to serve. I want love to exude from me. I want this love to be radical and accepting of everyone, showing them their worth.
A beautiful meditation, Absawibble. Such an attitude is what religion should be. I also love the rap song video. Love, Dad
ReplyDeleteThis made me cry in the middle of the library. Thanks for opening my eyes a little bit.
ReplyDeletei love you so much. you are truly a beautiful person. i find such inspiration from your life.
ReplyDelete