shout from the rooftop.

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The other night Ashley, Abby Leonard, and I had a major encounter with God. 
We prayed until 3:30 in the morning.
We prayed for each other and healing in this dry period of our lives. 
We prayed to be confident that God can do anything.
I have realized lately that so often I say "God can do anything"
and yet, I don't really believe it.
We prayed to expect God to be good 100% of the time when we pray. 

Expect miracles. 

We ended the night praying for the Church.
We prayed for the Church to live into the model that Jesus gives to us.
We prayed for walls of denominations to be broken down.

Let the people realize we are all working for one purpose.

I personally believe that Jesus would be disappointed to come
to earth and see how we legalize everything and how His people
separate because of denominations. 

We are to be one body. 
Working for one purpose. 

We prayed over the City Rescue Mission.
We prayed for every tribe, tongue, and nation to hear the truth. 

Let us do our jobs and not get comfortable. 

God breathed life back into us.
We confessed to our sins and were unguarded with each other.
He remade us. Renewed us. 

The next morning when we went to church the pastor 
spoke some of the exact words that we had said the 
night before. God is so real and so affirming. 

"Beholding your beauty is all I long for
To worship You Jesus with my soul's desire
For this very heart you've shaped for your pleasure
The purpose to lift your name high

Hear and surrender in pure adoration
I enter your courts with an offering of praise
I am Your servant come to bring you glory
As is fit for the work of your hands

Now unto the lamb who sits on the throne
Be glory and honor and praise
All of creation resounds with the song
Worship and praise him the Lord of Lords

The spirit now living and dwelling within me
Keep my eyes fixed ever upon Jesus' face
Let not the things of this world ever sway me
I'll run 'till I finish the race"

comfort.

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Today I had my first skin graph. 
I have to have three.

This consists of the doctor taking a bit of skin from the roof of my mouth
and putting it over my exposed root on the front of my tooth.
They numb you and give you laughing gas.

I was really nervous going into it because they said the top of the mouth would 
hurt for awhile after. 

For comfort I brought my HMS hoodie. 
I never thought I would miss wearing it everyday of my life.
I thought of all the youth groups and places I had been in the hoodie.
It made me feel safe and loved. 

I miss you HMSers. A lot.

much needed night.

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Last night I spent the night up in the city with these fools. 

We searched for Bobo's. Ended up at Sonic. 
Broke Abby Leonard's car.
Had so many great talks. 
And finally ended the night praying until 3am. 

I will somehow find words in the coming days to describe the experience we had with God. 
But for now, I am just in awe.

summer nights are best with tea.

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Tonight Jayme and I hosted a little tea party on my deck.
We had twinkle lights. 
We made vanilla bean scones from scratch.
Chocolate dipped strawberries.

It was the perfect night. 
We all talked for hours on end.
And finally ended the night in a swimming pool. 

Like I always say... there is just something about summer nights. 
Jayme, Me, Leah, Caroline, and Sarah.
This is Jayme's awesome boyfriend Jordan who brought us 
Cuppies, Sasafrass (our obsession).

Dear future husband, 
always come bearing red velvet cupcakes
with cream cheese icing. 

a change.

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I decided to change the name of my blog because 
I am not longer living in New York City. 
I felt this name was good because throughout my
 time overseas and in North America
 I have met so many people. 
I hold them all in my heart, they go with me wherever I go.

This is a quote from a Weepies song.

the simplicity of the gospel.

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While in China we visited several Leprosy Colonies.
In China, lepers are very stigmatized so even if they look normal they are 
cast out of cities and towns. Even their families are 
forced to leave and never return.
So out in the Chinese country side you will find villages full of
 lepers and their families.
In these places they have such strong communities. 

They are some of the only places in China that you can freely worship and speak about 
Jesus Christ. 

Before I went I prayed for the Lord to give me His eyes so I would not be 
frightened to encounter or touch people disfigured by this disease. 
The Lord, needless to say, answered my prayers. 
As soon as I walked into the gates I saw disfigured people everywhere,
but I was not phased. I was not phased because I knew
that on the inside we all look the same and that 
to Jesus this physical abnormality meant nothing. 

Later I spent time with a woman on the verge of death. 
She was moaning in her bed and was so frail. 
It took me by surprise that my first thought was of my dying
grandmother, but it was this thought that evoked compassion in me
 like I had never felt before. 

I sat right next to her in her pee stained bed and showed her pictures.
I rubbed her back, not afraid to touch her. 
She had one leg, no fingers, and scabs on her wrinkly skin. 

I held her and sat with her.
 Many times I thought of the verse in Matthew 25:40.
"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of 
the least of these brothers of mine, 
you did for me."

If this was Jesus, Himself, I would not deny Him a hug or a smile.
So why would I deny these people human contact and love just because
they look different on the outside than I do?

My friend Kelly and I sang to her. 
We just happen to be the worst singers in all of HMS but 
the lady loved it. She rocked to the music and when we stopped 
she wanted us to continue. 
While Kelly and I belted out worship music I found myself laughing 
and crying at the same time. 
Laughing at our terrible singing but crying due to 
extreme brokenness.

When we left the old lady we kissed her on the cheek. 
She smiled. 
She actually smiled. 
What a change had been made in her Spirit from the time when 
we had first arrived in her room. 

It is amazing what Jesus can do just through love.
What we did was not hard.
But that is the simplicity of the gospel.
Love. 
Love.
Love. 

Love and people will look into the face of our savior. 

night riders.

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Tonight Jayme Bee and I enjoyed Starbucks at the park. 
One of my favorite things about summer is bike riding at night.
So, we did. 
It was so great to talk about life and what God is doing in our hearts. 

Side note: I am currently listening to Christmas music. 
Go ahead you Grinches, hate on me.

of this i am sure.

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You who mourn will be comforted 
You who hunger will hunger no more 
All the last shall be first 
Of this I am sure 

You who weep now will laugh again 
All you lonely be lonely no more 
Yes, the last will be first 
Of this I'm sure 

I don't know why the innocents fall 
While the monsters stand 
I don't know why the little ones thirst 
But I know the last shall be first 

storms.

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As I walked home today I was amazed at the sky. It had this ornate ability to be drenched in light but at the same time dark as the middle of the night. There was one colossal black cloud covering the sun.

As I walked the sky began to drip, slowly at first, as if giving me just enough time to cross the threshold of my safe haven. The weatherman told me “severe storms were on their way.”

For anyone who is not from Oklahoma, I will just tell you that more 
often than not the severe storms are far more hairy scary than tornado warnings.

The sky began to pour. Then the hail came. Then wind… 
that famous Oklahoma wind that has no mercy 
for a fixed hair doo or a short skirt, let alone for a tree or house.

The power went out.

We watched out the window as the wind blew the rain and hail so hard you could not see a thing. Of course, it was scary standing there thinking that everything could cave in on you… 
but maybe my fear stems from one fourth of July experience six years ago. 

When the rain finally let up we saw that Norman was no longer Norman. In fact, all the streets had been transformed into the beautiful, mysterious canals of Venice, which just happens to be my dream vacation. My street in particular had its very own gondola, which moonlighted as a big blue trash can, just making its way down the Miller Avenue canal. Venice, of course, would not be complete without its tourists. In this manner, my neighbors came out of the woodwork one by one equipped and ready with their cameras to take pictures of the canals and the architecture… that had been ruined in this case...

The currents in the street were very strong, even with my Wellies I dared not step out into them… no matter how much I wanted to… and I really, really wanted to. 
Wouldn’t one of those blow up rafts be perfect in a time like this?

There was hail everywhere, it almost looked like 
Christmas time with snow on the ground…
 minus the broken down cars everywhere.

The power was out for a while; the Internet was out even longer.


this is wut.

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I met Wut doing a VBS day camp in Chonburi, Thailand. 
You can see by the picture that all the kids got to color their own shirt. 
You can also see by the picture that Wut colored his lion completely black. 
I adore him.

I told Wut that we have an expression in North America that we say when
we are happy or excited. "Woot woot!" He though he was famous.
It was so cute.

The first time we met I was sitting on a bench and he began giving me seeds. 
A guy from the church who spoke English told me that they were Thai popping seeds
 and when you put them in the water they popped! 
Of course, this provided Wut and I with hours of entertainment. 

From that moment on Wut and I spent every day together-- 
eating ice cream in the court yard, singing worship songs, and playing tag... 

Wut was a real friend to me. Reminding me over and over again that children are
often underestimated, especially by me. 

My last day in Chonburi Wut gave me a single popping seed. 
Reminding me of how our friendship had begun. 

june happy list.

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I feel that so much time passes in between postings of my happy lists.
So here is, yet another, list of ten things that make me terribly happy.

    Birthday candles.
    Braums ice cream.
 Writing postcards.
  Getting postcards.
  Finishing books.
 Summer nights. 
Fun mugs.
     Decorating.
     Sleeping.
     Rain.

i just gotta.

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I know I have posted two things already tonight but I stumbled across this post that I wrote in July of last summer and I couldn't help but break. Reading this reminds me how full my last summer was and how much I had a home in Haiti. 

I miss it there more than words can say.



But here is a post from last summer:

Tonight was my last movie night at the Hope House.

As I road drown in a truck toting the projector ready for my last movie night I saw the most amazing sunset I have ever seen in my life. The colors of orange, red, and yellow came flowing over the mountains dancing on the green terrain and glowing all through the countryside of Haiti.

When I arrived at the Hope House I went inside to start setting up for the movie, needless to say all the kids were screaming my name and asking me what film I had brought for them to watch tonight. The mommies were all making popcorn in the kitchen with some kids lingering around. The beautiful, perfect, sunset pouring through the windows and lighting up their faces in such beautiful ways.

I was home.

The mommies are usually even more excited to see me than the kids are... and that is saying something. They love that I invest time in them and know each of their names. They started talking to me about their weeks and giving me kisses.

Later I was given several love notes from my little angels. As I was chasing them around the Hope House I ran into almost every room. Mommies were showering, kids were dressing, and I was intruding on everyone... But all they would do would laugh and call my name because they all knew me and were comfortable around me.

Again, I was home.

Somehow I have become part of their family. It is hard to think that 60 kids and 17 mommies could actually be a family or that anyone would actually know each of them and each of their quarks but they do. I do. They have burrowed their way into one of the deepest parts of my heart, a place that few make it into. A place that is set aside for people I love so deeply it pains me to think of loosing them. Family.

Somehow I am part of the family now.

The brothers and sisters I always wished for when I was young. The mommies that each pour into my life in different ways.

I was speaking in Creole to a little girl named Esther from the Hope House. I told her that I was leaving Tuesday and that I would probably cry when I had to say bye. She looked at me straight in the face and said in English "I cry too when you leave." My little sister that I asked for every Christmas and never got has been waiting for me here all along. But not only one little sister... About 30 of them. But each of them know me and I know them. We know what makes each other who we are.

The only consolation I have when thinking of leaving my family here is that I will not never see them again. I will see them in Heaven. And there we will be reunited, real family, the way we were supposed to be on earth.

I forever want to be where my heart is home.

In the kitchen of the Hope House, running around the bedrooms, getting my hair braided in the court yard, getting dusty on the playground, pumping water for the kids to wash their faces after we eat mangos, and singing worship songs every Friday night before the movie.

My heart is home here.

atlanta.

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I am currently in Atlanta, GA staying with my aunt and uncle. It is so fun to see family and eat great home cooked meals (my aunt is some sort of master chef in my opinion).


I got to spend some quality cousin time with two of my cousins-- we ate pineapple, played on photobooth, and read some books. Their names are Zoe, 8, and Phoebe, 6.


We also compared blogging tips because they are both avid bloggers despite their seemingly young age. Here is a link to Zoe's blog. And check out Phoebe's blog here.

charleston recap.

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I know I have been lacking in the posting department for the last week mostly due to having to pay for wi-fi and me being, well, unwilling to do so.

I have been in Charleston, SC soaking up the sun and dripping in the heat. I got to spend some quality time with my parents eating, shopping, touring, and visiting friends.

We toured Fort Sumter (where the Civil War began), we walked around the old historical homes of Charleston, we ate at really great places, we found the best Forever 21 I have ever experienced, and we ate ice cream… lots of it.

I love the Low Country.

PS, I also went to the beach for a day. I miss it already.   

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