miseline.

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The only place I want to be right now is in the Hope House court yard. All I want to see are my kids running towards me.

This is Miseline.
An eleven year old beauty, inside and out. Her love for the Lord is unwavering and her kindness to others is a true depiction of the Lord's heart for His people.

This is the girl who wrote me letters everyday telling me how much she loves me and how much God loves me.

This is the girl who no one at the Hope House has beef with, which is really saying something.

This is the girl that every time I would leave her she would say in a matter o' fact way
"Abby! Anbrase mwen!" or in english "Abby! Hug me!"

This is the girl who made me a red and white beaded bracelet that I will wear until the day it breaks.

This is the girl who for the first two or three weeks pretended like she hated me because she wanted to find out if she could trust me.

This is the girl who could make the world melt away with her hugs and her breath taking smile.

This is the girl who happens to be pi bon zanmi mwen or in english
my best friend.

Priye pou Miseline

or in English

Pray for Miseline.

update.

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I have re-kindled my love affair with red lipstick.

Ps, no more drinking grande green tea fraps before bed for me... just had the worst night's sleep ever.

a place to call my own.

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As many of you know:

It is hard to believe that the place I called home for a year is no longer mine. I sit here thinking of all the times I sat out on the lawn reading or studied in the library or ate at the pub or saw plays in the theater or walked down the hall of Lynd to see friends or met up with people at Bates for dinner… My heart breaks that I will never again be able to call Sarah Lawrence mine. I think of the snow days we had and the giant snow man Maddy, Erin, and I built, I think of sitting on Nour’s bed talking about life, hanging out with Odette and watching Bones, I remember my first trip into New York City—spur of the moment to Life Café the week of orientation. I think of baking treats in Hill House, and having small group in Zoe’s room. I remember our last small group picnic outside of Hiembold thinking to myself “I will be back here next year, I am not sad to leave for three months.”

But alas, God is so big. He does things that one can never see coming.

When I went to Haiti this summer I never thought that I would abandon my life in New York that had made me so happy. But God knew better. This summer made me realize how my heart yearns for missions. I tried to put out the fire with dreams like working for the New York Times or even getting back into acting… But again God came knocking. I know now that the only way I can live into my full potential is to transfer schools and take a year off for missions. I know that God needs me to get a biblical education in order to pursue what He has had planned for me all along.

So I am leaving Sarah Lawrence.

But I just want to say thank you—to everyone that made Sarah Lawrence great for me, to everyone that made SLC, SLC… I know that it wouldn’t be the same without all of you. I will never be able to stop calling SLC “mine” because when I close my eyes and I transport myself back to that beautiful campus I cannot help but breathe in the New York air and see the leaves changing colors and know that some part of my heart will always be home there. I will always love SLC. And I will never forget how much I grew there in so many different ways. My life would not be the same without you.

Thank you.

five reasons i am no longer allowed to use super glue.

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1. I got glue all over my fingers and it formed a tough skin that nothing can penetrate.

2. Glued my foot to the floor... It hurt like heck pulling it off... Don't ask me how this happened.

3. Glued my hair to my other hair... proceeding to rip a giant chunk of it out and leave it on the floor of Wal Mart... Which I don't support anyway-- So there. (Witnessed by Sheena and Jacki).

4. Found another patch of glued hair.. Jacki picked it out for me while going through the check out line (true friendship).

5. Evidently the glue on my barrette had not dried fully when I clipped it in my hair today... (you can guess where this is going)... Glued my hair to my barrette and had to rip it out, literally.. (Also witnessed by Jacki and Sheena).. and I ruined my barrette.

iverson.

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Right now I want to be at the Hope House playing with Iverson. Playing with marbles, tickling each other, chasing each other... Hearing him yell my name as I walk through the gate.
Iverson came to the Hope House with His brother Galaxon after the earthquake. Their father died in the quake and their mother got sick and died quickly after. They remain the newest kids at the Hope House, the most rough around the edges... But also the two who showed the most love to me in the simplest ways.

I keep seeing Iverson's face the day I left... His sad confused face. And my heart cannot help but break for him.

for the woman who taught me how to love recklessly.

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I will never forget the way you loved others. I will never forget when you tutored intercity kids in Jackson, when you brought me to your church and it was the first time I had the cardboardish communion bread, when you would make me bagels with cream cheese and orange juice for breakfast. I will never forget thanksgivings in your kitchen, your beautiful southern accent, your stories, your laugh.

I will treasure the times we spent looking through old photos in your living room, sitting around the table drinking tea and telling stories about the old days, cousins, neighborhood kids, cats and dogs, Laurel and Braxton.

You will always be such an inspiration to me. The way you loved Jesus. The way you loved others more than yourself, and the way you advocated for what was right and just in the world.

So heres to the woman who I will never forget, who I will think about daily and never cease to love.

Rest in peace my lovely, my Grammie.
Doris Barwick

the perfect ending, but just the beginning.

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So it is official. Two months has come and gone.

Today is my last day in Haiti... My heart breaks at this thought, but at the same time I am ready. Ready for life to start, ready to apply everything that I have learned here. My life has changed so much over these past two months and I am sure that it will be noticeable.

Yesterday as a goodbye all the interns went to a giant water fall in the mountains of Haiti. I have never seen anything this beautiful. We were able to climb all over the rocks and we went pretty dangerously high. It was so fun and so amazing to be there with these people that I will consider family forever.
At night there was a giant going away party complete with take out Gwo Poppa Poul. A bunch of the staff and all the interns gathered. I was home. All these people I have grown to know and love.

Thank you to everyone in Haiti that made my life here amazing. To the Hope House kids, mommies, interns and staff. Thank you.

unrecognized strength.

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Today was my last morning with the mommies. They all had written me letters and stood in a line to give them to me and hug me and tell me they loved me. Needless to say, I cried.

These women they call "the mommies" are just that-- but so much more. These women are so often taken for granted. Teams come and go with a fixation on the children at the Hope House, don't get me wrong the kids need all the love that can be provided, but these women often get over looked.

They are each warriors in their own ways-- taking on the burdens of all the kids and putting on a brave face for them. If you visited the Hope House there is a chance that you would never even meet a mommy because they are so busy working to keep the house clean and to keep kids out of trouble.

These women are inspiring... Their undying love for God, children, and people is unfathomable. They have shown me more love in the past two months than all of the children have in a week-- and that is saying something.

Spend time in prayer for these women, for their super natural strength that only stems from the Lord, and their ability to make someone feel so deeply loved.

random intern cake fight? yes please.

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Lindsay's birthday party was last night and we threw her a surprise party complete with French balloons saying "bonne fete," funfetti cake, and signs everywhere.

We had the genius idea of putting surgical gloves on and eating the cake with our hands... Needless to say a cake war broke out and we got the upstairs SUPER dirty but had such a ball doing it.


where your heart is home.

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Tonight was my last movie night at the Hope House.

As I road drown in a truck toting the projector ready for my last movie night I saw the most amazing sunset I have ever seen in my life. The colors of orange, red, and yellow came flowing over the mountains dancing on the green terrain and glowing all through the countryside of Haiti.

When I arrived at the Hope House I went inside to start setting up for the movie, needless to say all the kids were screaming my name and asking me what film I had brought for them to watch tonight. The mommies were all making popcorn in the kitchen with some kids lingering around. The beautiful, perfect, sunset pouring through the windows and lighting up their faces in such beautiful ways.

I was home.

The mommies are usually even more excited to see me than the kids are... and that is saying something. They love that I invest time in them and know each of their names. They started talking to me about their weeks and giving me kisses.

Later I was given several love notes from my little angels. As I was chasing them around the Hope House I ran into almost every room. Mommies were showering, kids were dressing, and I was intruding on everyone... But all they would do would laugh and call my name because they all knew me and were comfortable around me.

Again, I was home.

Somehow I have become part of their family. It is hard to think that 60 kids and 17 mommies could actually be a family or that anyone would actually know each of them and each of their quarks but they do. I do. They have burrowed their way into one of the deepest parts of my heart, a place that few make it into. A place that is set aside for people I love so deeply it pains me to think of loosing them. Family.

Somehow I am part of the family now.

The brothers and sisters I always wished for when I was young. The mommies that each pour into my life in different ways.

I was speaking in Creole to a little girl named Esther from the Hope House. I told her that I was leaving Tuesday and that I would probably cry when I had to say bye. She looked at me straight in the face and said in English "I cry too when you leave." My little sister that I asked for every Christmas and never got has been waiting for me here all along. But not only one little sister... About 30 of them. But each of them know me and I know them. We know what makes each other who we are.

The only consolation I have when thinking of leaving my family here is that I will not never see them again. I will see them in Heaven. And there we will be reunited, real family, the way we were supposed to be on earth.

I forever want to be where my heart is home.

In the kitchen of the Hope House, running around the bedrooms, getting my hair braided in the court yard, getting dusty on the playground, pumping water for the kids to wash their faces after we eat mangos, and singing worship songs every Friday night before the movie.

My heart is home here.

how beautiful are the feet.

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Today I helped out in the prosthetics lab in the morning. MOH has one of the best and one of the only prosthetics labs in the whole country. They just started it around April and it is soaring. Today I got to see two little boys, who lost their legs, walk.

Nothing is greater than giving these people the feet to bring the good news.



joy.

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God made fun. And boy did we experience it the other day. On Monday a group came in and wanted to do a field day with the Hope House kids... They had made up games for the kids to play for an allotted amount of time. The games not only involved jump ropes but balls and water... Needless to say I knew better... And so did every one else long term. After about fifteen minutes of playing a game with my group kids started to get restless and wanted to show the Americans what their idea of fun was. Things became madness. Water fights broke out, kids started jump roping crazy, and I was loving every second of it.

Not only did this experience show me how lame American kids are and how awesome Haitian kids are but it also showed me how amazing God is to be the creator of fun.

I got in a huge water fight with a couple kids... And Tex. We drenched each other and everyone else... Brianna even poured water on Brad, the president of MOH. She is a brave soul.

I cannot even begin to describe the feelings I have for these kids. I cannot wait to share their stories to everyone when I return to the states. They make me a better person. They challenge me with their spunk but also with the way they are on their faces for the Lord.

I never ever, ever want to leave here.

(This is a photo I took last night of my best friend at the Hope House, Misline, worshipping the Lord)

ayiti nan ke m.

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As I gear up to leave this home I have made myself here, I sit and think about how God has moved in my life and how I have been blessed by His people. Yes, I come to bless others and it never fails how they bless me so abundantly. My words are few today just because I am in awe of my experience here in Ayiti and how I have changed because of it. I cannot express myself with words about the way I feel about this place, this summer, and these people. God is huge. And to think about how He loves us... Blows my mind.


This has been the best summer of my life hands down and I am so thankful for this place and these people. I originally planned on listing some of the people that I was going to miss the most but God knows there are too many to count.

Haiti is, and forever will be, in my heart.

Ayiti nan ke m.

vote your tap tap.

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Our organization, Lespwa Worldwide, is in the running to win at least $20,000 from Chase Bank for our work in Haiti.

Please Vote Your Socks Off here: apps.facebook.com/chasecommunitygiving/charities/205019981-lespwa-worldwide-inc

Please vote here to make a real difference for these people in Haiti. Your vote really does count and it takes like two seconds. This is an organization in Haiti that three of my friends started. This video features all my Hope House kids. You will fall in love with them just by watching this.

PS, when trying to say "Vote your socks off" the Haitians say "Vote your tap tap."
Priceless.

since i am unable to muster the words.

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This is a post by my lovely fellow intern Amanda who is a brilliant photographer and writer. Her blog is myjourneyinhaiti.blogspot.com


This morning started out great! We’ve been meeting as a group in the mornings at 7 for a little devotion time and then to talk about what were doing that day. Vanessa has been wonderful in encouraging us girls to pour our all into what we’re doing. Brad and Vanessa are the president of MOH and are incredible people.

I got to go back down and teach the hope house mommies. There is a guy named Frantz who is the supervisor of the kids in the orphanage and he is so amazing! When he found out that my dad died a while ago he decided I could be his daughter. He greets me every morning “Goodmorning daughter!” How precious!

After lunch all the interns went down to the warehouse to organize and sort through medical supplies, food for the guest house, and the most random things you’ll ever find. It was a lot of fun but draining at the same time.

We all came back up to shower and get ready for dinner… then our day was thrown a curve ball. We were sitting upstairs talking to Vanessa and just hanging out after showering when Brad yelled up the stairs that an accident happened and they were coming in to the clinic. All the medical personnel rushed down as fast as they could. After thinking about it, we decided to go down there to see if we could help too. We got down just as the patients were arriving.

A tap tap is a form of public transportation. Many tap taps are different sizes. This one was a size of a bus. I’m not sure how the people were sitting on it. They usually sit on benches that line the sides of the tap tap or they pile on top of it. Sometimes they’ll be sitting on the side of the window. Not exactly the safest form of transportation, let alone in Haiti. Apparently this tap tap hit a cow, which caused them to swerve and sway until they hit a truck coming the opposite direction. Terrible accident.
I had no idea what to expect. The first few patients were covered in blood but were walking. Then some of the worst came. One man had both feet torn off and they were dangling barely. His feet looked as if they had been shredded to pieces. He is currently having both feet amputated as well as possibly his arm if they couldn’t salvage it. Another man had a broken leg, shoulder, and possible back and neck. It was overwhelming to say the least.

I didn’t know what I was going to be able to do, if anything. I put gloves on and as I was standing around waiting I went over to a group of people and got us all together to pray. They started moving patients from the trucks and ambulances onto stretchers, beds, and boards. It was pure chaos. After we got done praying I went over and started filling out charts for the patients. Jotting down their names (or what I could understand of their names) and if they had been given morphine or any drugs yet. It was crazy! When that was done we helped holding IV bags, comforting the patients, and grabbing supplies that were needed.

I sat down next to this guy named Jean Phillips Mario, he went by Mario though. I sat and prayed with him and then was “assigned” to stay with him while he was there. I sat and held his hand for a good 2 hours just reassuring him that he would be okay and just letting him know that I was there. Every time his pain got really bad he would squeeze my hand. Come to find out he is the same age as me. Breaks my heart. He had an injury to his hip and a ball of blood was gathered above his nerve behind his hip and it was causing shooting pains down his side and leg. It also affected his kidney, which could have ruptured, but they haven’t figured that out yet. I felt completely helpless holding his hand while he muttered to me how much he was in pain and seeing his face tighten up every time pain would shoot down his leg. I wished so badly that I could encourage him more, but language barriers made that difficult. The only words I could utter to him were “desolei”-“I’m sorry” or “mwen kone”-“I know” or “Jezi renmen ou”-“Jesus loves you.” I tried a couple of times to ask him if he knew Jesus but I couldn’t understand what his response was. Finally we got a translator and after asking him about church and if he knew Jesus and telling him about Jesus he decided he wanted to accept Jesus into his heart! :) I can’t even begin to tell you what I was feeling in that moment. We all prayed and he prayed and then we talked about how just praying doesn’t save you and how it is how you live your life following Jesus. He got really happy and excited although while in very extreme pain. The pastor of the church came by and gave him a bible and talked to him a little. It was unbelievable! I stayed with Mario until he fell asleep. There were also a few other people in the accident that accepted Christ! :) Praise the Lord!! Crazy to think that sometimes things like this could happen, a tragedy, yet something so beautiful could come out of it.

There was also a 13 year old boy who I believe had a fractured femur and he kept saying that he didn’t know where his mom and brother were but he thought his mom died. She did in the accident. My heart breaks for this boy so much. My heart breaks for all the family members that lost a loved one in this accident. Toward the end of the night when things were calming down, there was a man who couldn’t sleep because he had a bad head injury so he was singing. It was beautiful. He was singing, “God, bless my soul” and “I know Jesus loves me”. Unbelievable to think that after this accident, a very traumatizing one, this man was singing to our God. So beautiful.

I was supposed to go for a ride in the ambulance to take two patients to a hospital, but I could tell the Lord was telling me to go spend time with Him. Its currently 11:25 here and I’d still be on my way in the ambulance if I had gone. It was a hard decision because I want so desperately to do what God wants me to do and to have no reservations and do anything! But my emotions started running and what I saw started to hit me.

So here I am, writing. I’ve never worked with medical before until tonight. I can honestly say it was the Lord’s strength in me. My stomach was never weak, I never felt lightheaded. The Lord sustained me and I’m so grateful. My desire is to be the hands and feet of Jesus regardless of what it requires of me. Whether that is to hold an orphan baby or help take care of accident patients-I’m serving the Lord with all my heart and will hold nothing back.

Please be praying for all the people involved and affected by the accident. And please continue to pray that the Lord will use the accident to further His kingdom like He already has!

EDIT 7/9/10: I am seeing the Sovereignty of our Lord more and more every single day. Yesterday morning, the day of the accident, I read 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 which says, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." I cannot explain to you how perfect this fit for yesterday. In my weakness, in the moment I thought I was useless and couldnt help, the power of Christ enabled me to do His will. What a Mighty God we serve. Now, this morning, as we are all processing what happened last night and the things we saw, I read this verse: "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock." Isaiah 26:3-4. Perfect. On the day where we feel shaken up and brokenhearted for these people involved in the accident, the Lord reminds me to trust in Him and I will be filled with peace that surpasses ALL understanding! Although this morning my heart is still hurting for these people and my mind is registering what happened, I see that the Lord is good. I see His mighty hand through all and in all. I am blessed to be His child.

The man with the mangled feet died two hours after being accepted to another hospital after two refused him-- including the main hospital in the country. Why is America so fortunate? That would never happen in America... No hospital would ever turn that man down. So why is this so in Haiti?

I know that God works in every bad situation and brings as much good out of it as he can.

chaos in the night.

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Crazy day.


Teaching.

Warehouse work.

Closer to dinner we got a call about a tap tap accident down the road from MOH. We went down to help at the clinic. (Tap taps are like a Haitian taxi/big truck the carries people in the back and on top). I saw many things I thought I would never see, people close to death, people with mangled limbs... It was an eye opening experience. We struggled at times with no light to see. A boy 20 years old that I was staying with while he waited for attention gave his life to Christ. So many people did tonight. God is good. I am so thankful that the accident was so close to MOH. I had never had so much responsibility placed on me in a medical field.. I had to fill out charts and get needles with morphine ready for patients. Every person was needed.

Please pray for the people in the accident, especially a man whose feet were falling off his body and we had to send to the Miami hospital near the airport.

And pray for Mario, my friend who is a new believer. That God would carry out a work in him until completion.

Praise the Lord for His many blessings and how he works each situation out for His good.

dance party.

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Last night we had the older girls from the Hope House up to the intern house and had a huge dance party. It was freaking sweet. The girls taught us so many new moves and we had a good time dancing like the white girls we are.


We are off to bake and American flag cake to show our pride for the fourth of July.

Last night we awoke to flashes of electricity slash our fans going on and off in the middle of the night waking us up and soaking our beds with sweat. Extra hot for Tex and I seeing as we have grown accustomed to sharing the same bed. We all dragged our mattresses out on the porch and slept out there with a nice breeze... Church this morning. I sat with my best friend from the Hope House, Misline. Hot and sweaty. Gwo Poppa Poul this afternoon.

Continuation of the dance party last night... Bustin' out party in the USA and old school Christina Agulara.

Cake making now. Happy "America Day".

10 hilarious events on a haitian outing.

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Yesterday Abby Len, Bailey, and I went on an outing to buy pizza for the Hope House kids. A man from a random team decided he had too much money so he offered to buy all the kids pizza and ice cream (a very rare occurrence). So we ventured in the back of a truck to a pizza shop about 40 minutes away. Events in chronological order...


1. Ordering cheese burgers in a Haitian restaurant that were very questionable... Eating them while watching the world cup in said Haitian restaurant... Cheering whenever the Haitians cheered and livin' up the Haitian life.

2. Spotted Kanye West in the back of the restaurant.

3. A random wanna be gangsta called Bailey fat in creole and then started hitting on her... Complete with hand motioned digit exchange.

4. Driving two stores down to the grocery store to buy ice cream... The store smelled like straight up poop.

5. Walk out of grocery store to see our driver throwing back some beers with a random guy we picked up on the street. Drunk driving in the back of a pick up commence.

6. Bought some coffee ice cream and ate it in the back of the truck driving through Haiti. Bailey spilled a good portion of her ice cream on Haitian man riding in the back of our truck with us.

7. Talking to Abby Len in the back of the truck when a plastic bag off the street plasters her face. I have to strategically pry the bag from Abby's face because of the wind.

8. Almost pee my pants due to even seven.

9. Random Haitian welder (we discover by conversing) riding in the back of our truck being really freaked out by us crazy Americans singing Natasha Beddingfield.

10. Arriving at MOH and getting a flat tire... I proceed to join all the kids calling my name from the Hope House to begin an exciting game of catching flies in plastic cups.

Overall such a great day with so much laughter.


only love remains.

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God is so good. He is rocking my world right now. Changing my paths and opening my eyes.


I am having so much fun here in Haiti with all the interns and the Haitian people.

I don't even know how to tell you about my last couple days because I have been so rocked by the Lord's spirit that I cannot even put it into words.

On a trivial note-- Canada day was today. Needless to say I dressed up in a Canada T-Shirt complete with pin courtesy of Brianna (fellow intern from Canada). We just had really good Canada cake that consisted of red velvet and maple leaf shaped icing designage. As a result of this day and how much pride the Canadians here show in their country the Americans are gearing up for the fourth of July complete with glittery red and blue stars that I just sorted. I have never been one for patriotism but somehow being in Haiti with all these crazy Canadians makes me want to rep the U.S. (for lack of a better term...)

Fourth of July has always been a favorite holiday of mine though, despite my frustration with American politics or our country's general reputation with the rest of the world. This year I am going to miss cooking out, fire works at Reeves, dressing up in red, white and blue, shooting off fireworks in P. Valley with friends, and celebrating the lives of Emma and Jacki-- seeing as... four or five years ago on the fourth we almost lost our lives. Hard to believe it has been that long. God is good and continues to surprise me.

Intern night tonight. I am leading. Tomorrow is my morning off-- I am psyched.

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